Thoughts from Janice
That S word—sacrifice. I believe I was a successful single parent because I realized that in order for my children to succeed, I would have to make sacrifices. I would not be able to have my cake and eat it to, and that was alright with me. My children didn’t ask to come into the world, didn’t ask to be in that situation, so I had to make sure their chances for success were as good as any. Why do I consider myself a successful single parent? It’s mainly because my children have grown up to be humble, kind, generous, hardworking, and God fearing children. Yes they have had to deal with negative situations in their lives, but they never used coming from a single parent home as an excuse. Instead, being in that situation made them try harder. They were determined to be positive examples of individuals raised by a single mom.
Merely being present doesn’t make you a good parent. It’s not how many parents; it’s who the parents are. I believe that a single parent can raise children that are as successful as children from a two parent home. I also believe that a single mom can raise a boy to be a strong man. In order to do this, a single mother must be an example of hard work, kindness, love, honesty, humbleness, and obedience to God. We underestimate God’s power in being able to make him the man God wants him to be.
- Don’t try to be your children’s friend. Be their parent. If you are their parent when they need you to be, they will be your friend in the end.
- You and children decide how you’re going to run your household, not society. Do what makes life simple for you and helps you to survive.
- Talk to your children every day. Be honest about your situation. Children look at your reaction to situations and determine how they should react.
- Mothers, don’t be consumed with finding a man. In my opinion, this is a major factor in the success of female headed households. That energy spent searching for a mate can be used to nurture your children. It also sends a message to children that they are not #1.
- Participate in as many of your children’s activities as possible. Celebrate all victories, big and small.
- Use your human resources (uncles, aunts, grandparents, and friends) as mentors, counselors, etc.
- Have family meetings. Sit at the Table of Life. My children and I rarely sat at the kitchen or dining room table. We had a meeting of the minds, not the physical body. Have an agenda, take notes, etc..
Peace and Love, Sarah L. Webb
What’s in your hand?